A Night at The Theatre....(A Copywriter's Satire).

Sometimes, I like to just follow where my sarcastic mind takes me, when I am writing a very serious, uplifting piece for a client. I think I will begin to publish these "Psuedo Projects." For example, I submit for my latest brochure:

Founded in 1975 and influenced by the likes of Grover, Kermit and other endearing puppet creatures, the goal of the Flamingo Theatre was to get children away from the TV and to firmly place their butts smack-dab in a theatre seat to get some culture. Parents enjoyed the tranquil darkness where they could take a nap as their children yammered, complained and squirmed next to them. In 1982, the Flamingo Theatre enlarged their lobby to accommodate the “Discipline Corner,” after it soon became apparent that these aforementioned parents, driven to an irritated rage, needed a place to drag their children after yanking them out of the seats, either to yell in a strained whisper or to administer corporal punishment with a hand, or perhaps a purse. In 1987, the lobby was renovated to include the “Hallway of Tears”, a long corridor leading outside to the street, where the crying children could be led away as to not disrupt the other theatergoers. Soon, the Hallway of Tears overflowed its capacity, as it became at any given time more crowded than the actual theatre. To accommodate for this problem, the Crying Hallway extended into the Terrace of Punishment, a quaint patio-like enclosure with an awning in the event of inclement weather. In 1991, after a widely-circulated petition was approved, the Theatre opened the Pub of Regrets, a full bar where parents could indulge themselves and drown their sorrows over the mistake of ever taking their damn brats to a play, while the chastened children milled about the Pub of Regrets’ stockroom, waiting for their intoxicated parents to take them home.