Here I am, Rock You Like Alberto...

(The line of the week, which Russ woke up and sang to me as a mini-hurricane
blew through our vacation condo)

On June 9 we loaded up our car--luggage and kids secure in the vehicle--and
at 2:30 am, we pulled out of our driveway. The girls thought it was a blast
to fall asleep in the back of the car at 11pm (we didn't feel like dragging
them down from their bedrooms, and yes, we locked the doors.) So we brewed
some coffee and, as I just said, hit the road at 2:30 AM. Of course, I
snoozed while stoic Russ drove, and I still whined when I woke up about how
tired I was. He has the stamina of a soldier in wartime...the boy doesn't
flinch.

At 8:30 AM, in Virginia, the girls stirred their sleepy heads and we pulled
into a Country Kitchen, where we did various tasks such as peeing, putting
in contacts (me), applying makeup as if for a photo shoot (Jordan),
complaining at the slow pace with which we were served our grub (me),
getting chided for being whiney (Russ), and then continuing on our merry
way, whereupon I inserted one of the many Books on Tape I had brought along
for the journey (Newbery winner, "Jacob Have I Loved", the tale of competitive twin sisters on an island in the Chesapeake Bay), much to the dismay and rolled eyes of my motley crew, (mainly Jordan, who wanted to play Pink's new CD.)

At 2:30 PM, we arrived at our rental office in Folly Beach, South Carolina;
grabbed the keys, and found our condo: an open, airy, brightly-colored
place with three bedrooms, three baths, and a balcony overlooking the
crashing surf. We flung the French doors open and let in the salty air,
excitement tingling me like I was six years old on Christmas morning. God
Damn, I love a beach. The girls hit the pool, and Russ and I ran down to the
Piggly Wiggly to get some groceries. The girls remained in the pool for the
next six days, only emerging on the last day pickled and liver-damaged like
David Blaine. Just kidding. But not by much.

The next day, we parked it at the beach and watched the girls boogie
board...Russ brought us a bucket of spirits on ice and we soaked up some rays.
Then we went into one of my favorite places, Charleston--a mere 10 miles away. We pigged out at Hymans and strolled around the darling cobblestone streets,peeking in the Circa-1600's Circular Congregational Church and reading the Olde English gravestones: , (IE, "Here Lyes Three Charminge Boys; Their father's Delight and Their Mother's Joye; Turned now to worms in this dark earth...") Etc etc. Creepy yet WAY COOL. Then, they were having a Jazz Vespers inside the quiet, air-conditioned church; so I sneaked in and relaxed to the soothing, tinkling piano melodies. I almost fell asleep!

The next day, after more skin-pruning and swimming, we went back into
Charleston and visited the Farmers Market, where I got suckered into buying
a bunch of crap. We then walked along the Battery and then popped into the
Edmonston-Allston house, where we stood on the piazzas and the drawing rooms
and saw all the 250-year-old furniture, etc. Oh, Ashley...Ashley...
Even the girls, who were dragging ass at that point, thought it was cool.

On Tuesday, Alberto roared in. It was a bummer of a day considering the storm blew in as we were on the damn ferry to Fort Sumter!!!
It was a monsoon; we could hardly see two feet in front of our face. We
huddled for an hour in the little museum on the island and after we took the
boat back, we had to walk about 2 miles to our car in the storm which was at
St Philip's Cathedral. Russ left us hunched under the awning of a State
Farm Insurance agency and sprinted to get the car. He rescued us 6 minutes
later. The rain didn't let up and I started getting REALLY depressed. We
were at dinner back on Folly Beach and I was being glum, my elbows on the
table and a dejected pout on my face, and Jordan said helpfully, "Hey Mom, there's a
bar over there!" I couldn't believe it; Russ and I DIED laughing!

The next morning, we woke up to a beautiful sunny day, and headed off to
Middleton Place...one of the most awe-inspiring places I have ever seen!
Acres and acres of formal gardens, marble statues, the ruins of a plantation
house that was burned by the Union army (but one of the houses still stood,
which we walked through etc.)...swans, ponds, bridges, all overlooking a bluff on the Ashley River. We took a carriage ride through the woods and past the stableyards,where peacocks screamed at us and a pig lounged in the mud. It was fantastic!!

Back at the beach, the girls wanted to shop for some presents for some
friends who had birthdays. On a whim, I picked up a "surf necklace" for
Russ, which was a cheesy shark's tooth on a leather strap. He turned up his
nose and said, "Ummm, who am I, David Lee Roth? A shark tooth nestled in my
chest HAIR?" Ahhh, he's funny!!

More sun, more pina coladas on the sand (whiskey for Russ), and then
Thursday we JET SKIIED! It was a blast!!! I couldn¹t even see. My eyes
were so sprayed with water I just kept them closed and clung to Russ, not
knowing what ass-battering wave was coming, which was even more
exhilarating!! I was screaming like a freak. He was putzing along and I
yelled, "C'mon, is that all you got, ya puss?" and he promptly floored it
over the waves as I screamed and when he finally slowed down he goes,
"Calling me a puss?"

Friday we had our goodbye meal at AW Shuck¹s back downtown across from the Market and the girls took their goodbye swim with their "summer loves"...an 8 year old boy who had a thing for the twins and his 12-year-old brother, whose eyes bugged out at Jordan in her bikini. Russ and I watched them from the balcony and I said, "When did we become on THIS side of the pool?" It's so weird, how some things never change in the circle of life. Like, as they flirted with their new, brief friends, their parents were just background noise...the last thing from their mind. I remember that so vividly, the living in the moment as a kid, not aware of anything else.

Then we went to the Morris Lighthouse, on the secluded end of the island, and it was all wild and green and overgrown and it was like being on a deserted island. Gorgeous!!! I couldn't stop staring, wanting to imprint on my brain. The lighthouse was out in the water, the sand dunes rose up, the waves rolled in in silence, no buildings to be seen...I could imagine the way it was when the first ships sailed past.

So, we left at 3:30 am on Saturday, back home at 2 in the afternoon, greeted by a child-deprived Yeti-dog. Willy, the one-woman-cat, mauled me all
night, happy to be reunited. Russ growled his typical, sarcastic comments like, "Ummm, does he need a condom?"

All in all, a fantastic Vacation 2006.

Yesterday was Jordy's birthday; she had 8 friends sleep over, and they had quite the time. God was smiling upon me previous 3 nights, so sleep caught up with me and I conked out like a dead person...I didn't hear a thing!!! I just shut my door, turned the fan on and slept. Actually, maybe God smiled down on the kids...apparently, they overflowed the toilet. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if I'd been awake....

Well, time to get writing! (I mean, 'real' writing.) Gotta bring home the
bacon!!! Peace, my peeps.